Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Donald Trump Trumped

If you haven't guessed already, I'm pretty bald. Starting at the tender age of 19, my precious, thick, luxuriant locks ripped the ejector cord and left my head. While there's absolutely no shame in going bald—it happens to the best of us—there's a heaping pile of shame associated with what a man does with the wispy-thin and bedraggled remnants of his once-sprouting and youthful-looking mane. A number of the actions I take in life are guided by a series of pointless mottos. Here's the one I use for baldness...

"If you can't flow with the 'fro then the hair gotta go."

It's simple—no comb-overs, no ponytails, no rugs or plugs. Shave it all off and march confidently forward in life.

I thought the rule applied across the board; no bald man could afford to ignore it. Then I saw this video.

OMGWTFBBQ!!1!11!!! Donald Trump could stand to take a few lessons. Holy shit for shit, I could stand to take a few lessons. My mind is blow'd. He doesn't have that much mass on his head to begin with. Somehow the dude has mastered string theory and torn a rift in the space-time continuum, and he's now drawing on additional mass from one of the ten or eleven alter-dimensions. There's no other reasonable explanation. I need to take a break before my whole being dissolves. This just isn't scientifically possible.
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