Get Back On the Horse

When you fall off the horse you have to dust yourself off and get back on.

In the wake of my GMAT meltdown I took a much needed break. A little introspection often goes a long way and in this instance it really did the trick. I've got a tendency to focus a little too intently on matters such as test taking, and this time around I really worked myself into a mess. The time pressures imposed by the test format; the performance expectations I'd placed on myself—the list of factors all added up to a very rocky frame of mind. Now my head has cleared, my feet are back on Earth and I'm about half way through GMAT Study: The Sequel. This time it's no more Mr. High-Strung.

If only that was 100% true. In actual fact there's still a measure of anxiety lurking inside of me and it's always likely to be there. Just look no further than my dad. Roger's no stranger to sliding into a frantic state of mind and he himself apologized for passing along his anxiety gene to his offspring. Thanks, Dad, but it's really not your fault. Or maybe it is, but he can't be blamed, can he? He can't help who he is anymore than I can.

In many ways it has felt like I was returning to square one on this whole test preparation kick. My initial method that was based upon blindly charging into revision armed with nothing but an over-inflated sense of confidence and precious little understanding of exactly how one takes standardized tests—I've never in fact taken one in my life; something that blows the minds of most of my American-born friends who are veterans of thousands of multi-choice exams. God bless the American education system and it's slavish reliance on standardized tests. The ship demanded a course correction and I ponied up for the Princeton Review series of books. They're none too shabby and instill a healthy sense of confidence, although I suspect their questions aren't quite as representative of what the GMAC concocts for the actual test. The Princeton Review's questions seem to test what the Princeton Review teaches quite well but might fall short of striking the same tone adopted by the GMAC. I suppose that's why the student is advised to pick up the official revision guide and use the Princeton Review techniques on real questions in order to shore up some knowledge. It's sound advice and I'm following it.

So I'm back in the saddle; not necessarily breaking into a gallop just yet but I'm moving along at what I'd consider to be a comfortable canter. There's still a lot of work to accomplish—lots of practice tests, getting the pacing right, developing swift recall on the problem topics—but at least the road seems more smooth and predictable. I'm even starting to enjoy the ride.

More Bother Than It's Worth?

There's little to report at the moment, not that I have any readership that actually cares. For some odd reason I got the notion of completing an MBA stuck into my head. Of course getting accepted into a program requires sitting the GMAT, a test that I can only recommend if you're really hell-bent on this whole "business" thing.

The GMAT—and getting into business school—has become all consuming of late, and that's probably not a healthy frame of mind in which to exist. Having tried a practice test on the weekend I realized that when it comes to the maths component I'm kind of underdone right now, despite what I might have thought a week ago. I lack sufficient familiarity with the problems which in turn gets me bogged down. In short I'm slow when it comes to the number crunching, although with a lot more practice I ought to be able to turn that around. Just like any sport or skill, it all comes down to practice in the end.

Beyond that just how much time should I really be dedicating to this pursuit? To what extent is it really worth the bother? My career is doing well—so long as you discount the fact that I haven't worked professionally for more than one company—and in most respects my life is chugging along just fine. At the end of the day what's it really going to accomplish? Will I suddenly attain a heretofore out-of-reach degree of career mobility? Will I be catapulted into the upper echelons of high-tech corporate structures? Nah, I seriously doubt it. Perhaps I'm better off not worrying about it—pull back, chill out, take a break.

Whatever the case I've hit the point where some perspective is needed. Tonight I'm home early with the books and study materials stashed safely at my desk at work. Tonight it's all about skipping the gym, sliding off the shoes and relaxing for a while. It feels good, doesn't it?