Why do airports have to suck so much? Right now my arse is parked in the waiting lounge at Oakland Airport, forced to share personal space with a couple of sullen looking teenage latinas and an elderly gentleman who seems to feel the need to have the speaker on his mobile phone turned up loud enough to share his cute-talk conversation with his granddaughter with everyone within a 20 yard radius.
It never used to be like this, did it? There must have been a period somewhere in the past when travelling on a plane didn't involve being herded like cattle into holding pens, undergoing borderline rape by the security staff, being stuck in a cramped and overstuffed tube in the air for hours on end while the surly flight attendants "treat" you to a half-filled cup of water and a shitty bag of peanuts. They'll tell you it's service. There's huge opportunity for the rail industry here—huge.
They're calling us to board now. I can hardly contain my excitement. The carrier is JetBlue, and whilst I'm sure they're going to offer me 36 glorious channels of DirecTV, I might also be lucky enough to get stranded on the tarmac or upwards of 10 hours with now way to get off.
All hail the airline industry.
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